After moving 4 kids, two tired adults, one cat and the whole of our lives from coast to coast we finally are getting settled. It has been almost 3 months. The kids are in school and adjusting. We have found a church home. The day to day that happens seems to be taking shape. I had resolved to do more to be involved in the kids school and to find a bible study. I have found a grocery store that is good enough and has good sales and great gas program. But it is all just so. Not great. Not. good. Just so. Existing, doing time. So unsettled emotionally. I hate it. There. I said it. I hate it here. I would have never said anything except that my husband outed me yesterday! He came home early to find that the house was immaculate, dishes done, laundry done, dinner in the crock pot, desert made, and me on the sofa finishing yet another book I had only started a few days before. All of that would have been a dream if not for the fact that the me he was used to would have been at the kid's school, or bible study or with friends, the house would be clean but "lived in", dishes would not be done, I had 3 books I was "reading" and I would have no idea what was for dinner. Other words I would have been living. He sat down and said "You hate it here don't you?" Like a weight lifted.
What do I say? I want to lie and tell him that I just haven't gotten settled. I haven't found my niche. But looking into his eyes I crumble and confess that yes this town is pretty much the armpit of the state. I have no friends, I am bored out of my mind and I hate not telling you anything because I want to be supportive. He says well I got another offer...in Texas. What do you think?
Aghhhhhh I want to scream. Yay I have friends and family there! The job was a promotion, pay increase, better location...etc...but but the kids are just getting settled...I'm OK...what is God trying to do with our life???
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